Why I Quit Work and Everything Else

This might sound like an ordinary girl quitting her job just because she doesn’t want to wake up and work anymore — every waking day.

Well, let’s say that’s right. But then, what happened to me back then? Here. Let me tell you something about how I dealt with them at all. Not just about dealing with my work but dealing with life as a person.

I have everything. Nice work, cool workplace, friends, a not so difficult job/role, and an office Awardee at the same time — well, like an Agent of the Year for 2 consecutive years, and yet you opt to quit just because of what? Apart from that, I have friends outside of work and a special someone that is with me too every step of the way. I’m wondering too about this too many why’s in my life. Here’s to all the why’s.

I’m a happy person. A happy camper. An easy go-lucky girl. I get what I always want. Even those are useless things or anything as long as Jannelle wants it, Jannelle gets it. I know what I want, what I am doing and what I am getting out of the things I do. I perform and even if I don’t really, I still get the attention and the appreciation that I don’t always need.

Last year, I felt this feeling that I can’t be just sitting here for 9 hrs and take in calls for the rest of my life. We get a lot of calls that time and our center is just starting its way to the top. I felt tired, anxious and felt like I don’t like what I am doing anymore. I started to lose the spark I once had. I don’t get excited about going to work anymore even it means I won’t get a chance to laugh and smile if I’m just at home. Days have passed and I still feel the same. I usually log out and tell my supervisor that I’m not feeling well or I just don’t have the energy to talk to any strangers over the phone asking for their phones to be fixed or get their bill lowered down, etc.

Then I came to a decision to resign and quit but I got no plans of what exactly I am going to do right after I resign. I’m reckless. But heaven forbid, another LOB opened its door for me. I was told I can apply as a Chat Support Rep. Well this means, I get the chance to work, have my friends around and won’t get to talk anymore! Wow! That was just a flash and yes I’m into the Chat Team and working my ass off. I love reading and talking to customers through chat not until we get to assist all 3 customers at the same time and with different concerns. It was a challenge but then I went out of it and got the Agent of the Year Award still in my first year. Unto my second year and that’s where it started.

I dreamed of getting promoted, getting attention from people around me and then I tried getting those exams and interviews but they told me I’m not that “Unicorn” enough to be promoted. Well, that’s funny, I am the craziest girl in our LOB but I’m afraid they don’t like me that way. I didn’t try just once, twice, or thrice. I got them piled up 5 times in a row but still no luck. I realized, maybe I was not built for it. I am not cut out for it. That I am not for this job or for this role I am wanting ever since. I even ask signs from God too why I was not chosen. Stats, fame and awards-I got them all like I didn’t earn them at all-but I do.

I never thought it could be as hard as I am writing this. For the past two years, I’ve been hiding this inside of me and got no one to talk to about it really. Maybe I was sad, anxious, and desperate about it. I don’t know.

It’s time to surrender and quit.

So there, I quit.

I resigned and everyone was shocked and been asking why?

Well, I don’t like answering questions. Instead, I printed my resignation letter and gave it to them but they won’t accept it. We talked for a week or two about my decision but then, I don’t want any of it.

I was so dead tired. Really tired.

My VP even told me that he is not the one to talk to about me resigning. Well, I’m not there to talk about it anyway, I want it approved and get my clearance so I won’t see the office anymore-unless getting my back pay. Lol

I was sad. Leaving everything like that.

The LOB is going down so fast. I have to admit that it was really sad going away but this is for myself as well. I don’t get anything from them so why bother to stay? I am working my ass off and get nothing.

You may start to wonder that there’s this feeling that I am wanting attention all throughout my life. Well, that’s true. I was raised way different maybe than you are. I grew up not seeing my mother and father every day and spent most of my childhood days with my nanny, inside the house and getting shouted at every waking day. Living in the province is different and hard too. I grew up wanting affection from people around me especially my parents but got nothing. I started living my life doing things so I’d get attention from people at school, community and everywhere which I think I’d be appreciated and feel loved.

Enough of that drama. Lol

Right now, I am happy I moved out of my 9–5 work and got a home-based job this time. It’s hard too but then I’m doing my best to keep up and get paid. Go to places I wanted to be and eat whatever I want.

I always bring my laptop with me in going to different places here in the Philippines. I’m planning to visit all 81 provinces too! Hah.

My job is not that big and not that easy, but I’m learning every day. I can go home and still get to work from 8 PM ’til 5 AM or vice versa.

I still get to see the sunrise wherever I go. Sunsets. Streets I walk at night.

Everything.

I love them. I wish you too, can start getting what you really want while reading this. I mean, life is SHORT. You don’t wish to die while still got papers piled up in your face.

Get out.

Realize what matters.

After all, being happy is what we really need. Not really happy-happy but maybe a little bit of happiness will do. Hope you get to feel that too.

❤

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